Hello. How are you doing? Well, I hope.
I’m sleepless. Like always. It’s 11.34 PM of April 17. Trust me, it is relevant to the topic I wanna write about. What follows is a long rant. Literal rant that I have written at midnight. I have never disagreed that you might have different opinions than me so if you do about this rant, why not make a blog page and write on it. Infinities Are Forever. Or something like that.
Infinity. We all have used this sometime or other in our lives – in different contexts. It is, yes, weird that English language has words that sound something but are something completely different. Let’s say for example, ne plus ultra. Sounds to me like something excessive. But it in fact means – the state of being without a flaw or defect. Cool. This is why I love English. It’s tricky, not difficult. Same word can mean different meanings in different sentences – relative to the context. Talking about relative and coming to infinity again. The very word ‘infinite’ messes with my mind in an undefined way. Let’s break it into two: in-finite. In is a preposition showing something that lies inside of something else. Finite means anything that has an end. You see it? In-finite. Anything that lies within finite. Woah, right!
Infinity is defined as time without end. I don’t know about you, but I strongly believe that infinities do not exist. And even if they do, they’re finite – which is a complete contradiction to ‘infinity’ – but yeah. I have thought about this a lot and I am not hungover on sleep. Trust me. How’d I arrive at this? Long story. I figured it out over time – three years maybe. The biggest event that changed my perspective on basically everything is John Green’s novel – The Fault In Our Stars. A book that I hold closest to my heart. Yeah, last three years have brought some very drastic changes in me – a so-called prodigy. Oh, I so dislike being called superficial. Or rather superb. Or anything. That would be my next topic. Three years – finite – three years can teach you everything about infinity. And that I’m trying to pen down in this write-up that I don’t know how many people will actually read.
Time without end. That makes no sense to me. Okay, time has been going on since bazillion (d’ya know what they define bazillion as? A very large indefinite number, which is almost, yeah you got me, infinity) years. Since always. But did the dinosaurs know about time? Nah. It’s almost as if humans invented time. You know about the invention of calenders right? If you don’t, here you go –
Because I couldn’t possibly type allll of that stuff. Sorry.😅
Humans discovered time. This is more appropriate, I guess. So basically there was a time before time was actually discovered and there will be a time when our race is wiped out, maybe after bazillion years, but there will be that time. So, how the heck is time without end? Maybe the new races won’t discover it. Whatever! That’s not my point. My stand is – time is a mere repetition. Time is not infinite. It only repeats itself in a (oh God) finite pattern. I clearly did not say events. Events make time different. Evolution. Inventions. Offenses. (can we just have an eyeroll over here?) Infinities are relative to us. Mortals. Finite vivid personae. Who divided numbers by zero? We did. Who sent spacecrafts in space? We did. Who found the black hole? We did. Who termed what we don’t know as infinity? We did. We did it all. And who said ‘Nothing lasts forever’? We did. The greatest oxymoron of the universe is human being. Human being. You see it? Be-ing. The very name of our species has pretend in it. Human is a state of being. Being what? More man, less human. I find it rather odd that we became the smartest so we could term ourselves smartest by teaching generations to do that. So cool. If time is infinite, why would Shakespeare even bother with writing that only art survives everything? He’d have well said that time is the only infinity and you could only live into infinity if you become a repetition. Think about it. Might seem nuts as heck, but just think. Infinite is also something that never ends. And if it something, it is more or less a human thing. Human things never last, like their creators themselves. We look at something and decide in a matter of split seconds that this is my infinity, my forever. For a mere example: I, as of now, believe that my love for a particular TV show is infinite. Over time, it increases to the point that I am completely dedicated to it. But, I grow up. I find more shows. I go out more so I don’t see the show that much. Reasons, reasons, blah blah blah. I would feel guilty for sometime and then that infinite love would become a mere memory for me. And to be very clear – memories die with a person. So, yeah. Infinity just finished. Maybe it is not something, it is someone and here, I don’t think I even have to write it down for you to understand. But still: a) they reach an end, b) they change, c) they find some other infinity and, d) all the above happens, not in the same order. A living infinity is as dangerous as a knife on your throat itself. Yeah, for a fact. You can savor infinity in a finite number of days. Infinity is not a thing. It is a feeling. An emotion. Or a state of unknown.
Summarized Conclusion (because all this was kind of conclusion): Time is not infinite. Events are. There is no thing as infinite infinity. Infinities are what you believe in. Infinities are what remake you. Infinities are what make you you. Infinities are numbered days. Infinities are love that stays or gets lost. Infinities are merely a matter of what you see when you look at all the finites. Today was April 17. There will be more April 17s, so many. All numbered – 17.04, yet for some today might be a beginning or end of another infinity. Some person might have chosen someone. Some might have fallen out of love. Some might have decided to pick up a pen and pour down everything. Some might be biting their lip in a hope to get selected for a job. Promises made, promises broken. Maybe in another point in time on a similar night of April 17, some teenage girl will be penning down absurd midnight thoughts, who’s not going to be me. Infinities. Familiar, yet unnoticed.
Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. – John Green, The Fault In Our Stars.
I hope you find yours.
Song: Ehsaas by Atif Aslam (why? It’s just a throwback of his concert in my city)
QOTD: So tell me, when are you going to be your biggest happiness?
Until next time.
P.S. Find me on Instagram @inked_musings and @wandxrxss