Heya people. How ya doin’?
Would notify this as for 16 and above age group. Language and opinion issues.
I have been a little insomniac, I guess. I can’t sleep. I just can’t. Not in the day either. I get a little sleep. Barely. It’s just my thoughts. Too many of them at the same time. All messed up. All tangled. I shift and flip in my bed all the night – thinking. Thinking about everything. Everything that was right and everything that was wrong. Everything fair and everything unfair. World, life and people are unfair. Most of the times. I feel I could write a lot of things but then I feel I can’t. A lot of things in life are embarrassing. Sometimes I just want to pour it all out. I’m afraid I’ll be judged. By everyone. There’s just this fear we all have inculcated? We know those eyes at us. All the time. Looking at you way past your boundaries – boundaries you don’t want anyone going through. It’s not just me. Everyone has a part of themselves, a dark part, they don’t show to anyone. Your darkest thoughts, your deepest ambitions, your highest desires: all crumpled up into one. In that one person. That one percent? Nobody gets that. Nada. It’s a rule of life. And what we’ve gotta learn is that we aren’t supposed to judge anyone. Especially not based on that one percent they’ve bared. Accidentally, or willingly. Either way, judgments are terrible. Yet everyone of us judges everyone of us all the freaking time. It’s insane. Like it’s hardwired into us. To judge. To see beyond what the person wants to show. Sometimes it’s good. Some. I just wanna say – stop it. It’s about time. The effects of judgment is underrated. It can cause a havoc, yet it is thought to be as petty as little breeze. Think it over. Or rather don’t. Do it. Help people get a better life rather than ranting over the worse.
Important note: no, this isn’t a revenge or anything. Nobody has spoken up to me lately upon their judgments. Yes, I do care. I do get hurt. But anyway. That wasn’t about anything personal.
Let’s get back to . . . Yep. Dot Dot Dot. We’ve all been there – quoting it. Ellipsis. It’s called ellipsis. And technically, it means omission or suppression of parts of sentences. Lately, I’ve been thinking about that a lot. I say ellipsis means we’re at a loss of words. Some things, they’re just ellipsis to us. Some words. Some situations. Some conditions. They just shake you. Even if for a second. Or milliseconds. Life…it’s all about knowing which ones of those are worth the ellipsis; which ones are the right ones to leave you without an answer. Hurting someone and then being hurt by the same way will make ellipsis. A death you didn’t expect shall. A beautiful fountain shall. A change in a person shall. A good book shall. A loss of something dear shall. A question on your lack of goodness or rationality or common sense will do that for you too. Hurt will do it. Joy will. Wonder will. Grief will. They do. To all people all the time. The answer to “You’re worried about your daughter as a burden, but you want a good wife for your son?” should not be ellipsis. It should be something more…fair. But if life worked that way I’m afraid we’d be all someone different since all these years. I’m a fucking girl and the other day, I was listening to the radio…? They were having a chat with an expert. On rapes. Yes. Rape. Yeah, you can exhale/inhale. Probably all your breaths got stuck.Rape is a topic we don’t talk about. Afraid that as if it is contagious. So we keep pretending it isn’t happening. That expert was telling the RJ that most of the cases reported are family members doing that. Taking someone’s virginity. Abusing someone’s self-esteem. Trashing someone’s rights. And I? I felt this weird mixture of anger and hurt bubbling up in my stomach. I couldn’t speak for a while. Ellipsis, people, ellipsis. The answer to rape is a fucking ellipsis. What is happening? I don’t know. I don’t understand. How could we be so insensitive? And rape – it’s not something that happens to women. It happens to men too. And what we have for that? Ellipsis. No, we don’t. She asked for it. She wore short clothes. She asked for it. That’s bullshit. Utter nonsense bullshit. She asked for what? For you to touch her? For you to invade her privacy? So genius of you. How long are we gonna hide behind all these ellipses? Painting our faces black – all standing in a proper queue for destruction. As I said, there are times when those ellipses are highly and shamefully inappropriate. That is one of them. And if you really want to know how bad our fucking understanding credibility is, let’s just look at how poorly we treat depression. That’s one of the sickest thing in this world. People around a depressed person are ashamed. Of the truth. Ashamed that it was their fault somehow. They do not want to know about it – because it’s heavy. Of course that shit’s heavy. A person isn’t going to be depressed for nothing. Why do we act like there’s nothing like depression? I believe depression takes more lives than typhoid or diarrhea does. Anyone, anyone can be knee-deep in depression. Why do I know? Because I’ve seen what depression does to people. Because…I’ve been a light victim. That we’re not supposed to talk about anyway. So, the wonderful people of the world, why not let’s fucking cater to it sometime? Why not let the person know that they have choices? That they can talk? That we won’t judge them? Oh but we can’t, can we? We do that all the time. We judge them. We don’t let them know about love and care and affection. Because . . .
Because this is us. Homo stupid sapiens. We call animals selfish. At least they’re only selfish – humans are evil. They are evil beings with ellipses as justifications. Pass it on people. Let everyone know what we are. What happens behind curtains and what those mouths utter everytime. Because they themselves can’t do it. They don’t have the courage. They’re not humans I guess. They aren’t animals either. Animals kill animals for the nature has given the life processes to them that way. Humans? They do it for nothing worthwhile.
PS: guys. I know this escalated real fast. I mean I know you didn’t expect this but…but I really had this urge to address these two issues that are – literally and figuratively – dangerous, pressing and fatal yet we pretend they don’t even have an existence. It’s absurd.
Song of the day: Cold Water by Major Lazer ft. Justin Bieber and MØ.
QOTD: Moving on is always a better idea than living the same time over and over, because even though time stops for you, it doesn’t for anyone else.
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