Birthdays

Heyo.

There is something I have experienced. Life, fate, and people themselves take away people from you. Always. But, yeah, although it’s unfair, but you’ll get maybe lesser, but people, who care about you farther down the road. People who’ll look out for you. There’ll be people, okay? There will be. And you’d think what they see in you when others left you. But, they’ll be there. It’s weird.

This post is about…phew. Birthdays.

The thing about birthdays is that I hate them. Yep. Absolutely hate my birthdays. What do we even celebrate? Getting one year closer to death? Getting closer to being wrinkly? Getting closer to the painful old age? And there’s a catastrophic hierarchy that finds course in my life. Two months or lesser before my birthday, something bad always happens. It’s just an observation. I dread those three months. I wake up everyday tensed about what I’m going to do with my life and what I am doing with it. I don’t write on my birthday. Ever. I think a lot, though. I never sleep the night before and the night of my birthday. I’ve always been an overthinker, and my special day brings that out in me. I hate parties and the “Happy Birthday” songs. Those few who know me well know how much I hate countdowns to my birthday. I hate being wished, because half of the people don’t remember the date ever, and also because ‘happy birthday’ is a cliché. I wish on my every birthday that maybe I could be alone – a company that I would heartily enjoy more than a herd of people. I don’t like hosting parties. I don’t want anything on my birthday! Why do people always ask me the same question? I get embarrassed on my birthday. I think that all these years I’ve failed life, maybe. Some people care to call at 12 AM. It makes me feel a little less hateful but that hate never disappears. I don’t want to shake people’s hands and smile unwanted. It’s stupid – birthdays are. It’s even more stupid because I am always excited for others’ birthdays. Ridiculous. I have no idea what to do on that day. I don’t know if I am supposed to be childish and fussy or I am supposed to act grown-up.

This is an amazing post for people who hate their birthdays.

Yeah, this was a short post provided I’ve written after so long. There are more coming up soon.

Until then, ciao.

Song Of The Day: Hurricane by Halsey

QOTD: Everyone’s not crazy. Everyone’s life is different than everyone else’s.

Ash x

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