On June 12th 2017, I started with my eleventh grade and became a junior. Eleventh grade is the most dreaded grade because it has been separating friends and mates since almost forever; subjects have been doing so. And so when I, a so-called prodigy with my name a lesser identity than my perfect 10 CGPA in my tenth board examination results, opted for Commerce and Mathematics, I knew I’d end up with horrible people. Yet, I low-key hoped to at least have one of my friends from my sophomore year with me. Which of course, did not happen. On June 12th 2017, I regretted doing everything I did and this stupid eleventh grade. Why?
As I walked into my classroom, all I saw were people to whom I had not interacted with, nor ever had the opportunity ever arisen to do so in the last decade I had been in this school. Some were people whom I had barely interacted with. I searched the room and found two students who were with me in my class last year. And they were the kind who were completely socially awkward and introverted. I was shocked. How was I, a socially active and extrovert person, going to survive in here?
On that first day, I cried my eyes out. There was my childhood enemy (we fought over window seats and our mothers fought over their daughters), rowdies with their gangs, low-lying people who almost seemed nonexistent, and bitches, literal bitches and as time passed that day, my classroom became worse. People with whom I had no wish to be with were suddenly sitting behind my bench, in front of my bench and as far as my eyes went. The few of my real friends were in science stream in other sections and oh, how I longed to go back to last year I cannot express. The only guy who was good friends with me (this friendship had grown over the summer vacations even though I kind of did not like this person a lot) was busy with his own friends from his old class. I guessed I was the only unlucky one with no friends. I cried for there was no one to have my lunch with. I cried because I felt lonely. I cried because I was gonna go through hell for two years because of these dumb people. I had to spend six hours each of the six days of the week with them and it seemed like a long time to go.
Well, let’s admit it. Most of us have intensively judged most of the people in our freshman and sophomore years. And so I had done it too. We have judged others cruelly and brutally. But today when I write this, I cannot believe what I was thinking, how wrong I was and what a huge lesson I’ve learned. As the days passed, I was fascinated by everyone. I didn’t know he or she was so nice, I said to myself. The guy I mentioned about? I ridiculously texted him when I went back home that he did not care about me at all or else he could’ve at least said a small hi to me. The next day, he spent an entire lecture sitting near me talking. Today, he is one my best friends and it’s safe for me to say that I trust him with my life. It seemed like I had made them – all these people – out to be a million times worse than what they were. Today, when I write this I almost smile at every word, at my own foolishness. The people that I once judged and sneered at, are now my almost family. Why do they always make me laugh, I do not know. Why do they make me feel like crying, I do not know. Why do they stay, I do not know. But they do and there’s nothing more beautiful. They have loved me. So much. Everyone of them, that it almost slipped my mind what loneliness was. After the first day, I haven’t missed my older friends as much. These people fill out places in my heart. All the time. Everyone is unique in their own way. Everyone broken, everyone lost, everyone fighting their own battles, everyone with differences, everyone so together. The six hours that I once dreaded are now something I look forward to every day now. Just to laugh my mind out, just to hear stories, just to marvel at them, just to be me. Just to be surprised everyday that how wrong I was. And in knowing that I was wrong, I feel contentment for the first time in my life.
Judging someone by far off is easy. When you are forced to be with them thirty-six hours of six days of the week, you know them through. Judgements can be wrong, incredibly wrong. And who knows, the worst can become your best even before you know it?
PS: this story is one hundred percent true and an ode to my friends who’ve become family and were dumb unknown people until last year. Also, I know this post kinda sucks.
Song of the day: Bonbon (English version) by Era Istrefi
QOTD: Take a step, a little one, to know someone. You never know what wonders you might find.